All The Women I’ve Been In Love With

This may come as a shock to those of you who know me, but I've loved many women over the years. My first real love was an eighteen year old beauty right out of high school. I had just finished my first year of college and talking to this woman made me feel things I'd …

Mechanic or Gardener? How a Small Mental Shift Makes a Big Difference

He gave me a skeptical look as I told him to stop trying to fix all of his wife's problems. "Your wife is a person to be loved, not a problem to be fixed", I said. More doubtful, incredulous stares. This happens all the time in marriages. We attempt to fix the other person or …

What Does Jesus Have to Do With My Marriage?

"Make sure you keep Christ at the center of your marriage." Growing up in a faith-filled environment, I heard similar sentiments from preachers, teachers, youth ministers, marriage books, and camp counselors. During my time in youth ministry I'm sure I taught or said things very similar. This messaging can also sound like the following: "You …

The Neglected Intimacy: 12 Ideas for Spiritual Growth

A quick google search will reveal thousands of articles on how to improve your sexual, physical, or emotional intimacy as a couple. But there is a type of intimacy that is often overlooked if not completely ignored: Spiritual intimacy. I suspect that there are at least two reasons that spiritual intimacy is not openly discussed. …

Don’t Be Wise In Your Own Eyes – Accepting Influence

I don't like to admit I'm wrong. There, I said it. When there is an important decision to make in our marriage (important can mean where we invest our money or what we're eating that night) my anxious mind has usually already considered all the possibilities and arrived at what I consider to be the …

Quick To Hear, Slow to Speak – The Art of Listening

Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.James 1:19 The amount of relational wisdom in scripture is stunning. I'll never forget a friend pointing this out to me after a Bible class. We had been studying the book of James, and he observed that even if one wasn't a believer …

You’re Living in the Montage: A Reflection on the Beauty of the Ordinary

At some point in my twenties I started watching lots of movies. It probably has to do with the fact that I was newly married, cash poor, and was content to chill on the couch with my new bride and snuggle up to a $2 movie rental (from a place that has since closed down). …

Change Your Trajectory in 2022

Here we are, at the end of another year yet again. I love endings and beginnings as they provide a natural bridge for us to look around, reflect, and evaluate. "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."Seneca the Philosopher, but also featured in "Closing Time" by Semisonic It's a chance to look behind …

“And Then COVID Hit” – 5 Ways to Preserve Love in a Pandemic

There are certain phrases that spread so quickly they become a part of the DNA of our culture. Uttering one of these instantly brings up thoughts, images, and feelings of a certain time in your life. Here are a few, for example: "Cowabunga Dude!" "WWJD" "You've got a friend in me." "Smiling's my favorite!" Can …

A Podcast to Bless Your Marriage: Small Things Often

Sharing resources to help you in your journey was part of the original intent of this blog. Today I'd like to share a podcast I enjoy regularly. The podcast is called Small Things Often. If you've read anything on this blog so far, you've seen that I am a HUGE fan of the Gottman Institute. …