There’s just not enough time in a day.
Last November it’s as if I was in a time warp. Between the upcoming Thanksgiving Holiday, planning for Christmas, and staring at our upcoming, obligation-filled month of December, I was short on time. This was in addition to the normal day to day tasks of life such as working, managing our household, eating, breathing, and keeping my kids alive.
Where did all the time go? Why did I barely have time to connect with my children and wife each evening? What could I do about it?
And then I began to notice a pattern. Truthfully this had probably been a pattern for years, but I hadn’t woken up from the trance until now. My wife and I would put the kids to bed each night and sit down on the couch for a few hours each night to watch Netflix, Youtube TV, or one of the other 20 streaming services we apparently subscribe to.
(Million Dollar Idea: bundle up all of those shows and movies into one package and sell it for about 70-100 dollars a month. Brilliant!)
If you do the math on how much mindless content consumption we were doing, it equated to around 10 hours a week….which could mean about 30-40 hours per month. So we made a hasty and impulsive decision: we cancelled our Netflix for the time being. And a few months later we “paused” our Youtube TV subscription until football season rolls around again.
And we haven’t missed it. Seriously.
No Guilt Tripping Here
The last thing I want to do is pile on guilt towards anyone over their choices. Instead, I just want to inspire you to examine your life and relationship from time to time and look for areas to create new rhythms. This was a small change which I believe could have a big impact over time. I’d like to share a few thoughts about our decision.
1 – Getting You Hooked Is The Goal
If you study the psychological mechanisms behind media and content today, it won’t take long before you realize how hard they work to keep you watching, clicking, sharing, and scrolling (Ironically, the Netflix documentary the Social Dilemma explores this. Yes, it’s on Netflix). They want your eyeballs and attention, because that equals money to them. “Them” being our tech overlords that serve us endless content for our consumption. There’s a reason a service like Netflix has a carefully scheduled release calendar that keeps you interested in what’s coming out just around the corner.
They want us hooked, and hooked we are. It’s not until you step out of the that world that your realize how normal it has become for all of us.
2 – You Won’t Miss It As Much As You Think
This was the most surprising thing of all for me (so far). I can honestly say I haven’t missed having our subscriptions. There has been nothing life changing I’ve missed out on. And if there is, I’m sure I’ll see it eventually. To be perfectly honest, we still have a few that we held onto (such as Amazon Prime) and so if there’s an evening we want to unwind and “consume,” we still have that option.
Perhaps you find comfort in always having a show or movie to watch to fill your time, or you’re worried about what you might do instead. Just try it out! You won’t miss out on as much as you think.
3 – You Have The Time To Accomplish What You Need
I cannot tell you the amount of families and couples who say they have no time to spend together (I’ve been there myself!). Need more time to hang out together as a family and play games? Need more time for recreation? Struggling to find moment for physical or sexual intimacy with your spouse? You could easily free up several hours of your week.
Unfinished project? A book you haven’t had a chance to read? Need time for exercise or a neighborhood walk? It can be done.
We’re no picture perfect couple and I don’t want to pretend we haven’t still vegged out on the couch over the last few months. But here’s a few things that have happened:
- We’ve read more books, including our Bibles.
- We’ve done more puzzles, which usually includes having conversations and listening to podcasts together.
- We’ve spent more time cooking or meal-prepping.
- We’ve had more conversations in the evenings.
- We’ve gone to bed earlier.
- We’ve become more selective about what we spend our time watching.
What connection are you missing out on in your week?
4 – Mindful over Mindless
I just briefly want to mention that this whole process has made me more mindful of what I fill my mind with. There have been SO MANY times I’ve watched a movie or limited series on Netflix, and when it was all over (8-10 hours of episodes later), I could honestly say it wasn’t even very good. I was spending what little time I had watching content I later regretted watching.
I began to think, “what if I spent that 8 hours doing another activity?” And that was the beginning of this idea for me.
5 – Creation Over Consumption
Lastly, I believe that we were made to be creators, not just consumers. Doing things like art, puzzles, writing & journaling, or another project does so much more for your mind and heart than mindless consumption. This is obviously a bigger idea than I could ever unpack here, but I’d encourage you to move forward in your life thinking of yourself as a creator of good things, not just a consumer of content. I don’t mean that you have to create something to monetize, but to create and build for its own sake.
Something to think about!
Final Thoughts
Yes, we’ve still been watching television and “vegging out.” But our evenings have been more filled with connection, conversation, and creativity.
And in case you’re wondering, yes we’ll be back. We can’t wait to see how Stranger Things 4 ends up in a few months. And there have certainly been a handful of movies released we’d love to watch. Additionally, a month subscription is pretty affordable compared to buying movie theater tickets every week.
But it’s been empowering to reclaim and reinvest my time, and my relationship has benefitted because of it. Maybe this is the nudge you need to try it out for a week or two. Press pause on your favorite streaming service, and press play in another area of your life.
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.
Ephesians 5:16-17, ESV
Made Well Marriage 