This may come as a shock to those of you who know me, but I’ve loved many women over the years.
My first real love was an eighteen year old beauty right out of high school. I had just finished my first year of college and talking to this woman made me feel things I’d never experienced. Being in her presence made my brain slow down and speed up at the same time, if that’s even possible. She had the whole world in front of her and I wanted to do anything possible to see it with her.
I next fell in love with a girl in college who was crazy busy, constantly involved in something – a social club, events, or social outings. This girl was growing into a leader and she drew me out of my shell in ways that I needed. She also challenged me to grow up, to be a better version of myself.
When I was twenty-two I fell in love with her all over again; this time, we were newlyweds. Young, dumb, in love, and learning to live together. Our love burned very brightly and shamelessly in those days. It was a joy to learn what it meant to love and serve another person day in and day out. It wasn’t always easy, but I could’t have imagined wanting anything else.
A few years later I fell in love with a teacher. I watched as she grew into what it meant to be a professional in the working world. To see her love and care for her students each and every day was praiseworthy. I knew her school and class were lucky to have her and the extra income didn’t hurt.
I once loved a pregnant woman. She slept a little more than the other women I’ve loved, and I had less room in the bed next to her. However, the “pregnancy glow” is real and man did she radiate beauty and life.
I’m currently falling head over heels with a local mother of two. Witnessing that change has been life-altering for me. I never knew the love a mom could have for her children until now. There’s all these little sacred moments that happen from the moment they’re born. This woman isn’t perfect, as anyone who has been a parent can tell you. But whatever frailty or failures there are just make me love her more.
But those are just the main women I’ve loved. I’ve also fallen in love with a dog mom, a puzzle completer, an expert organizer, and an outdoors lover. We’ve experienced a stolen car (true story), being turned down for multiple mortgages, and have paid off a sickening amount of student loan debt. With each stage I get to experience, it reveals a little more about who she is and the heart she has.
“I’ve loved seven other women and they all were you.”
John Mayer, “Shot in the Dark”
Don’t tell me you’ve fallen out of love.
Don’t tell me your spouse is boring.
If you’re bored, or feeling uninspired in your relationship, it’s very possible the problem is YOU. You’ve stopped learning, asking, and seeking. You’ve stopped being in awe of your life. You’ve let your wonder die on the vine. Your spouse (man or woman) wants to be KNOWN. So get to know them. Ask some questions you’ve never asked. Get below the surface next time. Pay attention when they give you a peek behind the curtain of their heart. And cherish whatever it is you find there.
I didn’t marry just one person; I’ve married a lifetime of women, and I haven’t experienced them all yet. I’m still learning new things about each one. I’m continually amazed at all the versions of her I get to experience as I say “I do” every day. My hope is that you experience the same in your marriage.
Made Well Marriage 